Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Cotton pickin' lunacy...

A Charlotte based newspaper, Creative Loafing, has recently published an article by one Quinn Cotton titled, Homeschool Horror: Divinely ordained education, taught by martyrs. Here are some choice excerpts:
You know how there are terrorist cells embedded throughout the world? Well, in my neighborhood we have numerous "homeschool" cells humming in the cul-de-sacs. They're almost as scary as the terrorist ones in some ways -- and they definitely have some traits in common with them. ...What's scary is that a lot of the homeschooling faithful are as fueled by a fanatical, religion-based belief in their mission as Islamist terrorists, and seem to be just about as brainwashed. Sometimes I even wonder if they're a manufactured race along the lines of the Stepford wives in Ira Levin's book, but assembled in fundamentalist Christian churches instead of family basements. ...They're not only terrorist-like in their conviction that their calling is divinely ordained, homeschoolers also often have a broad martyr streak. Rather than suicide bombings, though, they commit "suicide book-learning," sacrificing their own lives to teach their kids. ...Beyond a certain age, children and mothers are just not meant to be isolated together. It's unnatural. Keeping the kids at home might have worked back in the Stone Age, but cave women would've at least had each other for company, and I bet they made damn sure the youngsters stayed off in a group together while they grunted gossip and drank their Cro-Magnon coffee. Kids need their teachers to be adults, separate from their mothers. That way they can idolize or despise them apart from a parent figure, and don't have to depend on one person for everything they require. Did a parent of yours try to teach you to drive? How'd that go? 'Nuff said. All young animals must be immersed in a mass of their peers so they can figure out what it means to function as a member of the larger group. Believe me, I'm aware that homeschooling families get their children together, ...but being with maybe a dozen other kids once in a while doesn't do the trick. It takes serious numbers for developing humans to catch on to the nuances of accepted behavior and to have a chance to make enough friends. I just can't see homeschooling providing adequate socialization. ...What's really scary about homeschooling is what it can do to the sanity of a mother deluded into thinking it's her Christian duty. No woman was ever meant to be trapped in a house all day with children old enough to spell "homicide." So if new neighbors move in next door and you notice that the kids never leave for school and mom wears her hair in two braids, be afraid. Be very afraid.
I could pick Cotton apart for her kindergarten level use of logic (e.g., Did a parent of yours try to teach you to drive? How'd that go? 'Nuff said.). But I won't. I could take Cotton to task for her astonishing display of ignorance with the statement, I just can't see homeschooling providing adequate socialization. But I won't. I could point out to Cotton her sheer stupidity in stating, Beyond a certain age, children and mothers are just not meant to be isolated together. It's unnatural. But I won't. What I will do is point out the wickedness of Quinn Cotton's article. The liberal lunacy that Cotton regurgitates in her article should be regarded as blasphemous within a culture that genuflects to its god Tolerance. That she has the audacity to place homeschooling mothers within 1 million light years of the word terrorist is utterly heinous. You know what Quinn? There are many times that those brainwashed homeschool mothers feel like throwing in the towel... it's both physically and emotionally exhausting work to run their household and teach their children. But all it takes is an article like yours to remind them of the reason they choose to homeschool. Let Creative Loafing know what you think of Quinn Cotton's article by contacting them at

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